A Walk
A quick post-school clothing change complete, I reached for my headphones and headed out the door. My boy needed to be picked up in exactly 40 minutes – just enough time for a quick walk.
I swung the front door open and stepped outside, ready to enjoy the “cool front” that blew through that afternoon bringing the temperature down to 91 degrees. A slight breeze greeted me along with the late afternoon sunshine. In the moment, I faced a multitude of choices.
Where to go: Turn right into the neighborhood or left onto the trail?
How to focus: Track my steps as a workout or enjoy the movement and time outside simply for what it was?
How to fill my mind: Music or podcast or audio book or phone call or quiet walk?
The possibilities seemed endless. On this afternoon, I chose the neighborhood – in the interest of time – and my audio book.
A Treat
My mouth watered as we waited in line. As each person received their order and walked past us carrying their goodies, I eyed their chosen treat. Inch by inch we moved forward in line, until it was our turn to order.
I’d planned for weeks to visit this new ice cream shop for a special occasion. Eyeing the menu, I began to make my choices with no intention of sticking to my usual choice of strawberry ice cream and hot fudge.
I selected my cookie flavors for the sandwich bases; they didn’t even match – snickerdoodle on top and sugar cookie with sprinkles on the bottom! Next, I chose my ice cream filling. Chocolate and vanilla felt boring, so I stepped out to try the cake batter flavor. Finally, I picked a topping – a sprinkle of fruity, sugary cereal!
My guys ordered exactly what caught their eyes (very different from my order!). We considered adding a small box of day-old cookies offered at the register but opted out. We weaved back through the small restaurant and found an open outdoor table to savor the decadent treat under the setting sun.
An Impasse
It’s no secret we’re faced with choices each moment of the day. But, lately, choosing seems especially difficult. And most of our choices are much more difficult than a walking trail or a topping for a sweet treat. We are choosing which activity to cancel in our already full schedules, and when a sniffle needs a nasal swab and how to connect, but also be socially distant. I often feel unable to choose even the simplest of options, like what to cook for dinner or which book to read next. But lately, when it comes to bigger choices, I’m at an impasse. The experts call this feeling “decision fatigue*,” and I’ve found certain things give me a jumpstart in my decision making. Here are a few ideas I’m incorporating into this season:
Choose
I’m choosing once. In her podcasts and book, The Lazy Genius, Kendra Adachi, sets “Choose Once” as her top lazy genius principle. When I adapt this idea and choose something once, I take a decision off my mind and increase my ability to focus on other things that need my attention. For example, instead of deciding each morning what I should take for lunch, I bought a box of my favorite protein bars and a bag of organic fruit bars and took them to school. Now, I don’t need to decide what to pack for lunch each morning.
Pause
I’m taking a pause. I’m remembering I don’t have to decide everything immediately. A friend recently said, “If you feel rushed and pressured, the answer should probably be ‘no.’” This week, I needed to be three places within a 45-minute time span. I’d set myself up to drop at least one ball as I juggled all the things that evening. A better decision-making choice would have been to reschedule or say no to at least one of them.
Find
I’m finding moments away from noise. A moment alone in my car. A quiet walk. A prayer whispered as I fold laundry when I’m the last one to bed. The moments don’t have to be long, just calm and still. When a moment of my day is still, choices become easier.
Focus
I’m focusing on establishing flexible rhythms and letting go of the pass/fail mentality. Instead of meal planning, I plan and shop for three to four meals each week. The meals can be made any night we are home or held over for the weekend. Instead of dictating to my body which days I must exercise, I work toward purposefully moving my body three to four times each week. When I hold these things loosely, I give myself more room for grace when it doesn’t work exactly as my Plan A dictated.
The ideas feel simple on paper. But, in truth, I’m still a beginner as I learn to balance the choices dictating not just this moment, but the patterns of my life. What about you? Are you decisive or do you struggle with decisions sometimes, too?
* Click here to read a MedicalNewsToday article about decision fatigue.