Tether Yourself: Side by Side

I sat, curled up and legs tucked under, on our giant red couch.  My Beloved walked in, only slightly hiding the hot pink, ribbon wrapped, package in his hand.  I pulled at the ribbon bow and opened a beautiful set of personalized stationery. 

It was our first Valentine’s Day.  The cards were printed with my new last name!  I couldn’t have felt more loved, seen and understood at that moment.  I grew up never being able to find my name on the cutesy trinkets or ready-made cards.  In a time before we could order everything online and have it delivered two days later, he’d darkened the door of a brick and mortar store and placed an order weeks before to have them ready. 

In our commercialized, holiday-manufacturing world, we see and hear the hype continuously.  The gifts we give must be Pinterest-perfect, well-thought-out, and meaningful.  For an added special touch, we should give them on the beach or on the top of skyscrapers.  Diamonds and armsful of roses.  Expensive dinners at swanky restaurants and life-size (super creepy) teddy bears.  The valentines we receive, the giver and the recipient must be perfectly posed and documented on all the socials.

But, is that necessary?    

Tether yourself to real people, real conversations and real scenery.  Tether yourself to furry animals, interesting books, good music, the great outdoors.  Tether yourself to spatulas, hammers, cameras, paintbrushes, and yoga mats. – Rachel Macy Stafford, Hands Free Mama

Rachel Macy Stafford, Hands Free Mama (click for link)

This season let’s tether to our people.  More than one day on the calendar in the middle of each February, let’s establish daily ways to love our people.    

Let’s consider our words.

What could we say that would give life to our people?  Have we noticed something wonderful about them lately?  Or what do they do that is consistently meaningful? 

In Proverbs, we read “gentle words bring life and health” (15:4), “kind words are like honey” (16:24) and “words can be life-giving water” (18:4).  This season seems a perfect match for gentle, kind and life-giving words. 

A note or a text message (or lipstick on the mirror if you’re feeling romantic-comedy-esque) allows our loved ones to have tangible evidence of what we are feeling. 

Let’s consider our time. 

When was the last time we enjoyed the company of our people without distraction? 

In her book, Rhythms of Renewal, Rebekah Lyons writes “with our presence becoming more digitized and less embodied, our methods of communication don’t feed something we need – proximate human connection.”

Let’s get close and connect.  Perhaps we could take a minute away from the rush and sit across from our people to enjoy an ice cream or a cup of coffee.  If it can’t be done today, let’s make time to get it on our calendars.

If it feels impossible to get away, consider pulling your people into an activity we have on our to-do list.  If we’re making dinner, we could ask them to stir while we chop or make a salad while we make the marinade. 

Simply, look for ways to be side by side. 

Let’s not take ourselves too seriously.

This week I caught the end of an old movie on TV and couldn’t quit laughing! My growing-too-fast boy was in the middle of a video game, but my giggles made him come down to see what was happening.  He sat down next to me for just the last minutes of the show.  Have you laughed lately? 

I’ve never been a prankster, but doesn’t sharing a funny story or movie or inside joke make us all feel more connected? 

According to a 2017 article by David DiSalvo in Forbes (click for link), the serotonin released when we laugh doesn’t just foster connection, but laughter has an anti-inflammatory effect and is shown to lessen the stress response! 

Friends, let’s celebrate the ones we love!  But, in our festivity, let’s not lose sight of the loved ones we are celebrating. 

Hugs and blessings, Bethany