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The Spiritual Practice of Window-Gazing

January 22, 2020 by Bethany McMillon

Just before Christmas I stood, steaming mug of hot tea in my hand, and stared out the window. The trees were mostly bare. Few people walked the sidewalks. The grass was a dull brown. But, the lights. The lights shone brilliantly against the night sky. I whispered a content goodnight to the day.

More recently, I stood, silently, staring out the same window. Morning light glowed orange, casting long shadows and a false sense of warmth. A lone neighbor, bundled tight against the chill, walked the sidewalk. I caught a glimpse of two birds giving chase to each other, landing like graceful dancers in the top tree branches. I whispered good morning to the day.

I pause at this window each morning to fix my coffee, standing side by side with My Beloved, we wait for the last drips from the coffee pot, fill our cups and connect over the ins and outs of the day ahead. Many evenings we stand side by side again mixing hot chocolate or steeping tea.

Cabinets full of coffee and supplies for hot drinks frame the window, and just under the windowsill sits our coffee maker. Mugs are stacked and ready for use. A picture of our wedding day and our growing-too-fast-boy as an infant serve as reminders – time passes quickly.

This space in our home is far from extraordinary, but it’s one of my favorites, dare I say it even feels a touch holy?

The Spiritual Practice of Window-Gazing

A pause. A glance outside. A whisper of thanks for the gift of today.

Thank You for setting the routine of the sun and moon to mark the day. Thank you for the glow of the sun and the cool silver of the moon.

Thank You for this moment to observe the world, quietly, not quite participating.

Thank You for giving breath to my people this morning and strength to rise. May we go out as You call us. May we grow and may we come home together soon.

Thank You for our neighbors. May we be open to ways to be hospitable and loving.

Thank You for this tiny corner of the world in which you’ve placed our family. May we tend to it well.

May we focus our minds on that which is true and honorable, just and pure, lovely and commendable. If there is anything worthy of praise, let us think about these things. (Philippians 4:8)

A pause. A glance outside. A whisper of thanks for the gift of today.

Amen

What about you? Do you have an ordinary space in your home you often find a place to pause, a place that feels a touch holy?

Hugs and love, Bethany

A Liturgy for the Long List

January 15, 2020 by Bethany McMillon

The glossy magazines and flashy television commercials shout, “New Year, New You.” My social media feeds are full of captions promising great abs! Long lean legs! Amazing arms! In just ten minutes of work, they guarantee successes if I only follow certain routines.

Not too long ago, I did the math on each of the “only 10 minutes” routines I’d collected. If I was to do them all, I’d be working through these short routines for close to two hours. My morning and evening routines would need to meet midday!

When we think of overwhelming calendar obligations, we often think of holidays and the ends of the school years. But this isn’t always the case, is it? This week two friends mentioned January and February were busier than the holidays had been! For our little family of three, holiday and work travel, plus church activities mean almost a month between the weekends our family will be together on Saturday and Sunday.

I sigh.

I glance at my calendar and the fourteen-item to-do list I created for today and then stare down the clock, willing it to slow for a moment. The day ends with a silent scream, “Wait! I don’t have everything complete that I’ve penciled in!” Oh! The little failures that creep in to steal my joy!

But wait…

Let’s stop the maddening noise of guilt and choose to focus on the joys that have filled our days – the everyday blessings we hardly notice, chances to connect and serve family and friends.

In Philippians we read,

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thankfulness, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7

The words “with thankfulness” swim before my eyes. Am I, right here in this moment, being thankful?

Sweet friend, let’s turn our hearts toward thankfulness and worship.

A Liturgy

Let’s exhale, to let go of everything we have been, are and will juggle in the next season, and present it to God….

Let’s focus your eyes on the most beautiful thing in the room and be thankful that you can see it….

Let’s focus our ears quietest sound in the room and be thankful that you can hear it….

Let’s inhale deeply and be thankful for another day….

Let’s close your eyes and just be; just dwell; just be thankful for the tiniest blessings and largest….

Let’s close our calendars and apps and picture someone with whom you want to connect….

Let’s lay aside the mile-long list of things to do for a moment. Instead pick one personal connection to make today. Call a friend, or send a card, find a way to connect or to serve someone.

If you are like me, you’ll need to pick that list back up soon. Things need to get accomplished and life needs to move forward. But, when I give myself permission to pause, I can look at the list with new eyes and refreshed priorities.

Many Blessings, Bethany

PS – I found this picture and have been obsessing over the calendar in the image. I love that it is on a lined page. I’m guessing in a bullet journal. Does anyone keep a calendar like this with a day per line?

A Blessing for the Traveler

January 8, 2020 by Bethany McMillon

I love to travel. I love to go and do and see new – or familiar – places and things. And I have an even deeper love for going home. My sweet and wise Gram was known to say, “Being ready to go and ready to come home are the signs of a good trip.”

This Christmas break, I flew to visit family. What a gift that was! I squeezed into a seat made for tall, thin people and barreled through the air at over 600 mph. The whir of the engine muffled the noises of those around us. Each person on the plane focused on what waited for them at our final destination – some resting, some distracting themselves with entertainment, a few simply and quietly sitting. All waiting to land and move on with the “actual trip” or “real life”, as opposed to the travel time.

May I Hold Space

Traveling. Holding space. All of us moving forward. All of us waiting. All of us squeezing into our seats and soon enough pouring out into our new destination. All of us speaking to few but sharing space and time with all who are going our way.

These final moments of this Christmas season felt like traveling home. My heart weighed heavy, knowing I’d left something wonderful – the joy and growth of the break, the year, the decade. But equally, home pulled my heart forward. I was ready to bound ahead toward real life and newness. I am, simultaneously, reflecting on what’s been left behind and looking forward to what will happen next. Still caught in the middle – in the travel time.

The sunlight peeks in through the window. My growing too fast boy leans against me. My laptop open and thoughts drip slowly onto the screen. It’s a moment I won’t ever have again. May I not rush through this minute to get to the next one. May I hold space for the waiting, as I hold space for remembering.

A Blessing for the Traveler

For the traveler, be you creeping to work in commuter traffic or sailing on the trip of your dreams, may your heart hold space for the journey. May the peace of God settle into your soul and open your eyes to the glory of this moment.

For the traveler, be you alone on a crisp and quiet morning or surrounded with senses full from those around you, may your heart be open to those you meet. May joy fill and overflow your soul.

For the traveler, be your calendar full or empty, may you recognize each moment as a gift. May God’s grace be infused into each moment as you intentionally love and nurture those you encounter.

For the traveler, be you leaving or coming home, may you know safety. May protection surround you and those on your path.

The heart of a man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.
Proverbs 16:9

Love and Hugs, Bethany

Winter Solstice (& Book Reviews!)

December 31, 2019 by Bethany McMillon

It’s odd to do a Fall Book Review during the Christmas holidays. But, since I’ve done my reviews by solstices and equinoxes and official ends to seasons, that is how it fell. Perhaps you need a list of a few to add to your 2020 TBR list? Perhaps I’ll change it in 2020 (because I am my own boss when it comes to reading and writing. *wink*)

Winter solstice. The official end to the fall season and the beginning of winter. It often falls on my anniversary, though we didn’t plan it that way. Darkness spans the longest part of the day and light the shortest. Last year I read this post about Winter Solstice (link) and my heart connected over words other writers, like Emily P. Freeman (link) and Kaitlyn Bouchillon (link), shared this year. While I enjoy the longer and warmer days, there is something special about the long darkness. All the books I reviewed here were read in the fall season, prior to Winter Solstice.

Several of these were “reading homework” for my middle school book clubs. I had a moment when I worried seven books wasn’t “enough” for me to share. Do you ever do that, my friends? Think that your work isn’t enough when compared to others? I do. Hear this: Do what you can do. Read what you can read. Write what you can write. Be present as much as you can. But then, let go of what you can’t.

Escape Under the Forever Sky, by Eve Yohalom

Based loosely on a true story, Escape Under the Forever Sky tells the story of Lucy, the daughter of an American Ambassador. Her ideas about her parents’ rules and what comes of her defiance offers up to parents and young readers a chance to experience a scary adventure and think through what could have been different had she made different choices. I thoroughly enjoyed discussing this with a lively group of sixth grade girls. They are so bright and shared such deep thoughts and understanding (plus there is an amazing scene with the lions!).

Invited, by Leslie Verner

Leslie reminds her readers to notice, wander and leave space for hospitality. In the epilogue, she writes, “God uses the ordinary as symbols of the sacred.” I’d anticipated reading this for weeks and Leslie’s soulful reminder didn’t disappoint. My heart left the pages of this book feeling open and looking for ways to invite connection. An excellent read regarding hospitality and the plague of loneliness.

Michael Vey, Richard Paul Evans

The middle school students on our campus loved this book and rush to read all the sequels led to a stampede to the middle school library (only a slight exaggeration, but there really was a long on-hold list for each one!). I thoroughly enjoyed the good versus evil storyline, complete with attempts to hide superpowers and overcoming bullies! A definite recommendation for middle school readers.

Maximum Ride, James Patterson

I didn’t love this one as much as the other YA books we read for middle school book clubs. Max, the main character, tells the story and the voice of her character kind of gets on my nerves! Ha! I think I’m in the minority, though, as there are several sequels in the series, and it’s been adapted into a manga (Japanese style graphic novel) with the latest book set to release in October, 2020. Max and her friends are mutants, created by scientists, with animal and human DNA. She is part bird, and though she is only 14 in the story, she is caring for several other young teens and children. Chaos and pandemonium ensue and it’s up to them to save each other from the evil scientists.

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, Neighborly Words of Wisdom from Mister Rogers, Tom Junod and Fred Rogers

The book is a compilation of the article “Can you say… Hero?” by Tom Junod and quotes from Fred Rogers. As you many know, the article served as a basis for the recently released movie. Junod writes of Mr. Rogers fight to protect childhood and silence in a “dizzying… and disorienting… electroculture”. I haven’t yet seen the movie but reading the article and Mr. Rogers heart through his quotes propelled me even stronger into the fight for quiet and time with my family.

All Rise for the Honorable Perry T Cook, Leslie Connor

Remember last book review when I said EVERYONE needs to read “Wishtree”? That’s how I feel about this heartfelt book, too. Eleven-year-old Perry Cook has been raised in a minimum-security prison and now someone is convinced this isn’t the best arrangement. My momma heart shed tears over this book and the girls in my book club discussed the importance of holding judgement as we don’t know a person’s story. This is a must-read. It is one of those books that I’ve continued to mull over, even after finishing it. I can’t wait to dive into some of Connor’s other books.

Remarkable Advent, Shauna Letellier

Over the summer I read Letellier’s, Remarkable Faith and in the spring, during Lent, I read her story of Holy Week. I am drawn into her storytelling style and, as I’ve said before, she brings the characters to life in a fascinating way. Based on Scripture, with added historical detail and personal touches, we see the story not just in the familiar words, but through the character’s eyes. I was mesmerized through Advent this year with the stories of Elizabeth, Zachariah, Mary and Joseph – each vividly brought to life. Purchase Remarkable Advent now and tuck it into your Christmas decorations. Next year, when you pull out the decorations, you will a step ahead with your Advent reading plans AND be pleasantly surprised to remember the gift you bought yourself! (PS – I’m looking forward to reading her book, Remarkable Hope, in the spring. Let me know if you’d like to read it together!)

Snuggle up as the weather turns even more cold; reach for a book this winter!

Hugs and love, Bethany

Finding Peace in the Hustle

December 18, 2019 by Bethany McMillon

I tiptoed barefoot and pajama-clad around the corner into the living room — the house still dimly lit by the lamp in the hall. I held my breath to protect the silence and folded myself into my favorite green chair. The chair is usually in this corner, but now it’s nestled snugly next to the Christmas tree. I flipped the switch for the lights on the Christmas tree. The tiny bulbs bathed the room in warmth – both light and feeling. I opened my Bible and Advent study book. A sigh escaped my lips. In the few minutes before the rush of the day began, I sat quietly with God’s Word, trying to remember what all this hurry in the season was really supposed to be about.

Oh, sweet friends, how I would love to tell you this moment of sitting in silence by my tree was how most of December has looked – with time on my hands and all “the things” complete. But, alas, it would be a big, bold-faced, hairy lie. While this quiet moment did happen and several more like it in the early mornings, I’ll share with you a truth about some of the other, not so picturesque, moments this season.

The not so pretty truths:

I cried this morning when I got to work. Because I forgot something at home and wasn’t sure how to make my day work without it.

I went to the mall yesterday – TWICE. Both times I thought I was purchasing my last gift and left giddy, only to come home and remember something – or 10 – I forgot.

I decided to drop a tradition from our must-do list, and I am already sad it won’t be included in my yearly Christmas pictures.

I haven’t made strawberry jam, which is one of my favorite holiday past-times, loaded with family memories.

In the scope of life, each of these things is inconsequential. But, this week, to me, they feel heavy.

“I don’t do what I would like to do…”

Just last night I visited with another writer, who mentioned Paul’s confession in Romans, “I do not understand what I do; for I don’t do what I would like to do, but instead I do what I hate.” (Romans 7:15 GNT)

This is me. Right now. At the Christmas season. I want to focus on peace and joy. Yet I’m sucked into the busyness of the season. I want to be present in each moment, but my mind wanders to my list of presents to buy.

I’m sure the pillar of the church, Paul, meant his confession to resonate with far deeper spiritual meaning when he wrote it to the Jews living in Rome, than distraction of “stuff” at Christmas time in the twenty-first century. But perhaps it comes down to the same heart longings. Longing to be close to our mighty God, to celebrate the birth of our friend Jesus and to connect in love with those around us.

The idea of shalom:

Recently I stumbled across a simple video by The Bible Project explaining the concept of peace and shalom. It is not, the video explained, just the absence of war, but instead the state of complete wholeness or complete restoration. He explains, “it is something complex, with lots of pieces that is in a state of completeness or wholeness.” Doesn’t that sound like what we want for the season? Not just the absence of war – or of busyness or chaos – but a sense of wholeness.

We have exactly a week before we open our eyes to Christmas morning. What will the next seven days look like for you? My challenge to you, and to myself, is to find seven quiet moments, one each day. Calm the hustle and bustle. Choose the silent in a night. Spread the joy to the world.

There is no way to find a peaceful moment!

Here are a few ideas, just in case you are like me and sometimes feel there is no way to find a peaceful moment.

*Wake up just before your people or stay awake a moment after they go on to bed. Be still in front of the Christmas tree with only its lights on. Whisper a prayer of thanks for Jesus is the light of the world.

*Make it a point to look at the nametags and listen to the names of those we encounter in service positions. Then, look them in the eye, thank them by name and wish them a Merry Christmas with a smile.

*Put something off until January. Is there something you’d hoped to fit in but haven’t? Move it to January when people may need a pick-me-up. (Thank you, SR, for this reminder this week!)

*Connect. If you think of a friend, let them know. If you blunder, laugh through it with a friend. Give long hugs to those you love.

Prayers for Shalom, my friends – Bethany

*PS – Here is the link to The Bible Project Word Study: Shalom. https://www.youtube.com/watch?reload=9&v=oLYORLZOaZE.

**ALSO – I’m thinking of using the hashtag #sevenquietminutes over on Instagram for the next week to share peaceful moments I find. Join me!? Let’s fill our feeds with peace and joy.

Finding Joy in the Broken

December 11, 2019 by Bethany McMillon

The bright red leaves spread out brilliantly against the white cellophane wrapping. The poinsettia flower was full and healthy when the young student dropped it off with a smile and a spring in her step one morning a few weeks ago. I’d happily splurged on this unnecessary purchase because it supported her in something that gives her joy outside of school.

That afternoon, before heading home, I carefully snuggled it between a basket and my jacket in the backseat floorboard. Fearing it might turn over in the seat and injure the bright red petals, I made sure it wouldn’t move.

I tapped my fingers to the Christmas music as it rang through the car radio. I had an errand to run, so quickly completed it and pulled into the garage. After unloading the car, I carefully carried the poinsettia inside.

But then…

But then… I set the plant on the counter and the top half flopped over to one side.

“Hmm, that’s odd,” I thought. Surely it didn’t wilt in the one afternoon in the library! When I cut away the cellophane, it drooped over the one side, revealing an entire snapped off stem.

“Drat! How did that happen?” In a quick act of frustration, I pulled the snapped stem. And my heart sank. It wasn’t just one stem! It was ALL THE STEMS! All that was left of my beautiful, ruby red poinsettia was two scrawny stems.

Immediately I knew what had happened. After snuggling my poinsettia into the floorboard of the backseat, I’d scooted my seat up to drive and then quickly scooted it back to get out. In the process, I’d decapitated my plant!

A handful of broken beauties and two scrawny stems!

My thoughts this week have been on the story of Elizabeth as told in Luke 1. Months before the angel proclaimed Jesus’ birth to Mary and Joseph, an angel appeared to Elizabeth’s husband and proclaimed the birth of a son. Elizabeth was, by on-lookers standards, too old to have a baby.

But truth be told, I haven’t been thinking about the older Elizabeth we read about in Scripture. Instead, I’ve been considering a younger Elizabeth. As a young bride, I wonder if she held the dream of motherhood and examined its beauty. Perhaps, she nestled that dream somewhere safe. Maybe, at first, she thought it would all go according her plan. But then, over time, her beautiful plan was broken off at the stem.

Broken and Not Enough

I wonder if it was then that she turned – broken and not enough – to our Mighty God? I imagine, when she let go of the control, she settled into the righteousness she and Zachariah are known for today. That’s when she found true joy and peace.

In my focus to protect the plant, I’d unintentionally set it up to break. My eyes began to open to other ways and places I do this, too – especially during the holiday season. In my focus to protect my wants and desires, I lose sight of God’s plan. I want to hold fast to traditions, so I overschedule. To look like a supermom, I focus on the vision of perfection.

My poinsettia, Elizabeth’s dream of motherhood, unrealistic expectations for Christmas – all are broken stems. But, in them, God has opened my eyes to the possibility of seeing His work and His joy.

Friends, do you do this, too? Could you let go of something today and allow God to replace your striving for His peace and joy?