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Beauty in Hard Things

June 29, 2020 by Bethany McMillon

They’re everywhere – again. My heart smiles each time I spy their bright yellow faces looking up at the big blue Texas sky.

Sunflowers catch my eye very year.

All along the highway, we see fields full of row upon row – planted and cared for, waiting for harvest. They can grow taller than the average person! On a trip home not too long ago from down near Austin, Texas we commented about how many people had stopped to take pictures with the sunflowers.

The planned crops of sunflowers are beautiful. However, my favorite are the ones that pop up beside the highway unexpected, unannounced and unattended.

Waiting at a stoplight in the middle of a construction zone, I noticed several bright yellow buds popping over the concrete divider. It caught me completely by surprise! The contrast of the sunshine yellow buds and green leaves to the dull gray concrete brought a stark and heavenly artistry – even more so than those simply compared against the background of the sky. The road was busy. The machinery roared. Yet, there they were – simple, natural, and lovely.

How often do we pass by beauty like that and don’t stop to appreciate it?

How often is there is a “flower” popping into the highway of our lives and we drive by without a glance?

If God can sprout sunflowers along an over-driven construction site, he can – as He promises – “give beauty for ashes, gladness for mourning and garments of praise for the spirit of heaviness, that [we] may be called trees of righteousness”. — Isaiah 61:3

Many aspects of our lives these days seem like construction zones – ideas and the way we’ve always seen things bulldozed down to build something better. The noises are loud. It’s dirty and messy work, but the great Architect knows His vision for a what’s ahead.

The sunflowers seem to say, as they tilt their faces to the sun, “There is beauty in the hard places, too.” – beside construction zones, along highways and farm roads, on top of dirt piles and even beside a port-a-potty in the construction behind our house.

Take a minute to notice them!

Many Blessings, Bethany

updated from the archives 🙂

Peace That Dances

May 27, 2020 by Bethany McMillon

I crept as silently as possible to his doorway and held my breath, willing him not to wake for just another moment. I needed one minute of pause before waking my growing-too-fast-boy to begin our day.

He slept like I do – laying halfway between his stomach and his side, one leg outside the covers and head only ever so slightly on the pillow. From where I stood, his red cheeks and sweaty blonde hair were obvious signs of sleeping hard. If I listened closely, I could hear his rhythmic breath. He was still. Peaceful.

When I think of peace, often, I picture this memory-picture – my toddler boy in the mornings or just after nap. Snuggling into my arms as he woke. Quiet. Rest. Peace

Peace of a Different Kind

Days ago, I cranked up the music in my car. I surrounded myself with music, declared the lyrics, and allowed myself to feel all the variance of emotion I’d stuffed down in the days and weeks before.

The song filled the air and my soul, like it had for weeks.

“I don’t wanna be afraid every time I face the waves… I don’t wanna fear the storm just because I hear it roar… Peace be still! Say the word and I will! Set my feet upon the sea ‘til I’m dancing in the deep”
– “Peace Be Still” by The Belonging Co and Lauren Daigle (link to watch on YouTube)

Suddenly, a lyric I’d sung hundreds of times before reverberated through my soul in a way it never had before. Dancing in the deep.

Peace, so deeply felt, I dance.

My mind raced back to Peter stepping bravely out of the boat to walk toward our friend, Jesus. Before turning his eyes from Jesus, he walked on water. I wonder if he danced. Did he laugh in delight? Did he spin and clap his hands in glee? Was he so full of peace it overflowed as joy?

Peace. Beautiful and quiet. Peace. Bright and joyous. Let our hearts be filled with both.

A Liturgy for Peace that Dances

Lord – You are God of the deepest sea, the highest mountains and the endless skies.

You are God of the storms we fear and sunshine in which we bask.

But still, you know me. You’ve numbered the hairs on my head. Your Spirit knows the words of heart when I can’t yet speak them.

I claim your peace because you’ve promised it. I claim not just the quiet peace I often seek, but peace that overflows as joyous singing and dancing.

My hands and feet will praise you as my voice does!

I will not step timidly from the boat into the water. Instead, my eyes will stay steady on you, my heart will beat in time with the waves and I will dance and not be silent.

You are the giver of peace, of song, of dance! I will praise your name forever.

-Amen

Hugs and Blessings, Bethany

*Photo by Silas Baisch on Unsplash

For the Unappealing Book Cover

May 20, 2020 by Bethany McMillon

The Book Cover

The thick paperback book lay quietly in my TBR pile for several days. While it came highly recommended by a trusted reader-friend, the pastel title and dark cover did little to encourage me to pick it up. It reminded me of an old romance novel. I couldn’t put off reading the book any longer. The book club when my middle school girls would discuss it fell just days away on the calendar.

Hours later, I looked up bleary eyed. As my heart pounded with the suspense of the story, I realized I almost missed this adventurous and creative tale because of the unappealing cover.

A Crate of Classroom Supplies

Sweat dripped down my back as I loaded the last crate of classroom supplies into my car. Key were turned in, good-byes said and hugs given. We’d known of our move for weeks. A new house waited for us in a new town for My Beloved’s new job, but no new position had been found for me. After years of work, the latest college degree I’d recently completed looked as though it would go unused. While I knew our move was our next right thing, my heart weighed heavy with the change.

Months later, I carried the same crate of classroom supplies into a new room in a new school. My heart pounded with anticipation of the new opportunity and the revelation of God’s hand at work.

A Liturgy for an Unappealing Book Cover:

Lord, Is this truly the story you’d have me read?

The cover is dark, the title unappealing and it’s a genre I don’t often choose.

I exhale my trepidation. I inhale Your goodness.

I hold the new book loosely and gingerly open the cover.

My Friend and Guide, I trust your leading.

You are the Author and Perfecter of this story.

-Amen

Hugs and Blessings, Bethany

Photo by Kari Shea on Unsplash

When We Want to Read the End First

May 13, 2020 by Bethany McMillon

Last year, months before his birthday, our growing-too-fast boy knew just how he wanted to celebrate. A huge blockbuster movie was set to release within weeks of his birthday, and he wanted to go with a few friends. As the movie date approached, I heard rumors of a main character’s death and the bad guy gaining the ultimate victory in the final battle. I whispered a few thankful prayers we hadn’t bought tickets for opening night! I simply couldn’t take sitting through the movie if that rumor was true!

The afternoon before the movie I googled the name of the movie, including the phrase, “with spoilers,” and – much to the horror of my boy – I read the entire detailed recap before we left! (I didn’t regret it one single bit, and I still cheered along with the other movie-goers when the good guys came out on top!)

A Confession

A confession: That wasn’t the first time I’ve done that. And, I’m guessing it won’t be the last! I often flip to the end of the book and make sure it has a happy ending before I read it, too. I just want to be sure everything turns out ok!

Life’s not really like that, though, is it? We can’t flip ahead or read the spoilers.

There are many of us feeling stuck in this moment – this dissonance – of knowing things will never be the same, but also having no idea what it will be like. Truth be told, I’d like very much to flip to the August chapter of the 2020 book to know what school will be like when it begins again. I’d like to flip a few weeks ahead and see if our new puppy ever actually makes it all night without having to wake up and go outside to potty. I’d love to take a quick glimpse even further into the future, too, to know how all these changes will affect our kids.

I keep thinking about Psalm 139. Friends, the Lord knows. Just as He is in both heaven and the grave, He is in the future month of August. Yes, we find Him if we dwell beside the farthest ocean, but also, He knows the future of our kids.

Sweet friends, I could offer ideas of how we could rid ourselves of this feeling of being stuck, of ways to cherish the moments or trust the Lord’s Hand in the future. Instead, let’s simply recognize our desire to know the end and hold it for the feeling it is.

A Liturgy for When We Want to Read the Ending First

Sweet Jesus, I exhale the conflict of the moment and inhale your peace. I want to look for a happy ending before the story is complete.

I hold the characters of this life-tale close and want desperately to finish their story with a smile and contented sigh.

Instead of savoring each sentence, paragraph and verse, I flip anxiously through the pages.

I confess my distrust in the Author’s hand and His ability to weave a beautiful story.

Grant me peace that you’ve laid out every story arc, every rising action, every plot point.

You are the author and perfecter of our stories.

-Amen

Hugs and Blessings – Bethany

*Photo by hannah grace on Unsplash

A Time to Celebrate!

May 6, 2020 by Bethany McMillon

I sat in the circle of 30 or more of my closest friends, sporting black biker shorts, pink shorts and a black and pink top (hello, early 90s fashion!). Reaching for the next gift to open, I wondered if anyone noticed my fancy hair or new lip gloss. A friend had put it up in two French braids that met at the nape of my neck and the lip gloss had been a gift, too. The box was small and wrapped with store paper, a gold sticker held it in place. In the box, a small felt pocket held a dainty ID bracelet with my name on one side and the names of two of my closest friends on the other. It was my 13^th birthday.

My parents had graciously opened their home. My Dad spent hours crafting a neighborhood scavenger hunt that kept us running from house to house and through the park. Mom’s famous strawberry cake, eaten on the patio, topped off the evening.

I don’t know what it is about certain celebrations that sear themselves into our memories. Perhaps the thoughtfulness of others, perhaps the feeling of the moment, or perhaps it is perhaps it is the feeling of elation, but I know this feeling to be true.

This week I turned 43! Is it really possible the story from above happened thirty years ago?!

Like the last few weeks, Ecclesiastes 3 continues to echo through my mind. A time for everything – laughing, dancing, embracing, finding satisfaction. I pray you find a way to celebrate soon. Celebrate big! Celebrate small. Celebrate people close to your heart or fake holidays. But lift your head to celebrate!

43 Ways to Celebrate!

A sweet treat
A special drink
Stretch
Take a Walk
High Five someone close by
Hug someone you love
Yell “woohoo!” a little too loud
Change scenery
Call a friend and tell them the good news
Take note! Jot it down to remember.
Watch something funny
Buy yourself flowers
Take a nap
Read something on your TBR
Go out to dinner
Dance
Put your arms up in a ‘V’ for victory and say it loud and proud for all to hear!
Fist pump
Pop firecrackers
Use sprinkles
Blow a paper party horn
Use fancy themed napkins and plates
Send a note of thanks to those that helped you succeed
Host a party
Take a picture of your accomplishment
Throw confetti
Worship God for His Goodness and great gifts
Take a trip
Schedule a self-care splurge
Pet a furry, four-legged friend
Sit in the sun
Buy a little something you’ve had your eye on for a while
Salty treat
Color a picture
Sing along loudly to “We are the Champions,” “Best Day of My Life,” or “Simply the Best.” (or something similar)
Blow up balloons or send a balloon bouquet
Give a standing ovation, even if you’re the only one and you’re giving it for yourself
Give away party favors (or host a giveaway!)
Decorate your area
Take a quiet minute to notice what you haven’t noticed while you’ve been working
Drive-by and honk and wave
Get all the way dressed (Friends, you know what I mean! Shed the yoga pants and the tinted moisturizer and get dressed!)
Use that special thing, like a delicious-smelling candle, beautiful stationary or find china you’ve been saving!

What about you? How do you celebrate? I’d love to know so I can incorporate it into year forty-four!!

Hugs and Blessings – Bethany

A Time to Turn

April 29, 2020 by Bethany McMillon

Spot

In high school, I took a crash course in dance. I’d never taken ballet, or tap, or even jazz, but decided to try out for the school’s new dance team. By some miracle, I made it. Several of the girls were amazing. And several of us were… well, let’s just say we were beginners.

In our first week of practice, we learned to “spot” as we pirouetted across the floor. Later, we learned the same spotting technique helped our balance in a high-kick line, too.

Spot. To focus on one small thing as you spin.

Spot. To find.

Look

The tiny learner sat weeping on the playground. As I knelt beside her, I could see she’d skinned her knee. Each time she looked down at the cut, her sobs began again. “Look at my eyes,” I encouraged. “Don’t look at your knee, just at me.” A trip to the nurse and a band-aid fixed her tears quickly and she bounded out of school later that afternoon as if nothing happened.

Look. To search

Look. To hold one’s gaze.

In this season, everything seems to be spinning, almost out of control. We are washed from emotion to emotion with news stories and hope, isolations and comparison, illness and healing.

My attention span is shorter than usual, as is my fuse. It takes me longer to settle into work projects or to writing, reading, listening, or even quiet. My heart’s gaze flits from thought to feeling to action, through the opposite of each and back again.

Turn Your Eyes

One morning, I sunk deep into my chair with a sigh. My mind already spinning, I opened my Bible and closed my eyes. “God, I walk into your throne room with wringing hands and a racing heart.”

Deep within my soul, the words of an old hymn began to whisper, “Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in his wonderful face. And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace.” (click here for the link to Lauren Daigle’s version here, it’s a beautiful moment of worship)

Turn your eyes. Spot Him. Hold His gaze.

In Ashley Hales’ book, Finding Holy in the Suburbs, she writes “the work of being beloved is a constant returning… it is in starting daily liturgies that draw us in to a beauty that overwhelms and is even present through the pain.”

Naturally, our eyes turn toward what catches them, but faithfulness is the choice to turn our eyes back to God’s face, to remind ourselves to look for his hand.

Let’s look, my friends. Look for His face. Look for His hand. If something else catches your eye, choose to turn, to return, again.

Let’s fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith…
Hebrews 12:2

Hugs and Blessings – Bethany