Tether yourself: What I Learned from my Screen Time Report

Tether yourself to real people, real conversations and real scenery. Tether yourself to furry animals, interesting books, good music, the great outdoors.  Tether yourself to spatulas, hammers, cameras, paintbrushes, and yoga mats.

-Rachel Macy Stafford, on Hands Free Mama (link)

Tether yourself. 

This phrase, meant to be a conversation starter for teens about smartphones bounces around in my head, as it has been for weeks. 

As I got ready for the day one morning, I flipped my head upside down.  With my blow dryer humming, I scrunched my hair dry.  A familiar buzz vibrated at my wrist.  Sunday morning zaps usually mean one of two things – a coupon from JoAnn Fabrics, which is a weekly reminder of time long past in which I did more crafting, and my dreaded informative screen time report.

I glanced down. 

Yep, definitely more time than I could imagine it being.  Did I really waste that much time on my phone DAILY?!  I remember, “tether myself.”

I’m always a little shocked when I see the time summary.  So, in the last few weeks I’ve tried to take that shock, reflect on why it was shocking and make some adjustments.  I needed to check the tethering rope.

My Reflection:

Tracking the time on my phone is important because the time on my phone is time I’m NOT doing other important things.

I say connecting with and loving my people is my mission.  Does my phone time reflect that? 

My adjustments:

I committed to several days of trying four “simple things” we read about in the all. The. Places.    

1 – I leave my phone more than an arms-length away from where I relax in the evenings.

Most evenings, I left my phone on the bar in the kitchen while I worked around the house, watched TV with family or read and wrote.  Even though my watch buzzed with new notifications occasionally, I took care of it in “batches” since I had to stand at the bar to reply to a text or look something up.  It felt weird to stand and scroll through posts! 

2 – I set a timer.

My brother calls it “the sit and scroll.”  Most people I know do it!  We sink into the couch, pull out our phones and spend the next minutes (hours?!) allowing ourselves to be bombarded with ads, opinions, and a sprinkling of updates that we really care about.  However, when the timer was set, even if I didn’t hop up and close the app immediately, I was more aware of the time I spent.   

3 – I moved my social media apps to the last screen of my phone. 

I now swipe three screens to the right to see the folder of social media choices.  This simple act makes me more aware of what I’m doing with my time.  It was a habit to click in the bottom right of the first screen.  But, moving them broke the habit.

4 – I set a rule that I wouldn’t check social media unless I’d finished other things first or until a certain time of day.   

Henry Ward Beecher is known to have said, “The first hour of the morning is the rudder of the day.”  Likewise, if I start my day scrolling, I’m more likely to do it the rest of the day. 

My Realizations:

Open me, PLEASE – If I haven’t opened one of the popular social media sites (the one that begins with an F) in a few hours or so, it sends random notifications.  “There are 42 new items for sale at ___!” or “__ added to their story!” And, it’s true the little red notification dot does make me more likely to open the app.  Now, I am leaning toward turning off the notifications completely.

Counting Minutes – In my desire to cut down on the minutes my phone was in use, I inadvertently cut important, connecting things, too.  I was less likely to allow my growing too fast boy to play DJ in the car because that used my minutes.  I didn’t make as many phone calls for the same reason.  In my head, I know this makes no sense, but, my obsessive nature got the best of me.

Ways I can keep the rope tethered tightly:

Primarily, I’ll use the phone for connecting with my people.  I’ll make the calls and send the texts.  Regardless of the minutes used, these connections make life rich and are good for my heart. 

And, I’ll remember to keep the phone out of arms reach while I’m at home. 

Also, I’ll work in batches.  Cleaning out my personal email once a week is working for me right now.  Setting a timer to sit and scroll is working for me right now. 

Finally, I’ll work to remember, even the apostle John ends two of his letters (2 John and 3 John) with hopes to visit face to face with other believers. Doesn’t this sentiment from two thousand years ago reflect our feelings today?

What practical tips do you have for tethering yourself to what matters most?  I truly can’t wait to hear.

Hugs and blessings – Bethany

*** Tether Yourself article by Rachel Macy Stafford for Hands Free Mama: https://www.handsfreemama.com/2017/12/15/tether-yourself-the-enlightening-talk-parents-arent-having-can-keep-teens-from-a-damaging-drift/ ***